First and foremost, welcome to TalonRO! I believe you would enjoy your time here.
You noted that you've been playing since 11 years old but you didn't really give an age reference (or years/date of playing) so it was hard for me to gauge on the timeframe that you've actually been playing RO... But I digress...
How to play "proper" RO on private servers is subjective, given that each server has their own unique environment and style so give yourself more credit. Though, I am sure this community will help out if you ask on !main. You can also check out TalonRO's wiki page for more info.